Guest blog by Emma Cottam, Isabella & Us
As a mum it can often feel like there isn’t enough time to do everything we want to. Our ‘to do’ list might feel never ending and this can often lead to us feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been there too.
Three years ago in December 2017 I became a mum. Before this, my time was my own, I could watch what I wanted on the TV, go out whenever and wherever I wanted and I could run my previous creative business alongside my full time teaching job without any feelings of guilt.
I started my small business, Isabella and Us. with a four week old baby, struggling with the transition of motherhood and trying to navigate what felt like, a whole new world.
Fast forward three years and I run my current small business Isabella and Us. alongside my teaching role and being a mum. I’ve hit near burnout more times that I dare to think about, but something fell into place last year during Lockdown 1.0 and although I am always incredibly busy, I’ve found ways to help me better manage my expectations of what I can achieve and also the expectations from others.
Here’s some of what I’ve learnt:
1. How urgent is urgent? - Your perception of urgent is likely different to mine. This is why having clear deadlines and expectations is important. If it’s not urgent, it could wait till tomorrow. I had some great advice from Sanela and Terri from Grounded Parents Group about blocking time out in your diary for urgent things and booking in other things around that, so that if those urgent things do come up, you’ve already got some time to do it in! And if not well, then you can do something else.
2. Having an out of office permanently set on my emails has been a huge help - I’d always worry if I didn’t reply instantly and what someone would think. But an instant reply is almost impossible when I working full time too and so during lockdown last March I added an out of office and it’s stayed on my emails ever since. I no longer feel the pressure of replying straight away and it also helps to manage the expectations of those waiting for responses.
3. Stop apologising - I used to always start my emails with ‘I’m sorry for taking so long to reply’, I now say ‘Thank you for being patient with me in a response’. It’s such a small change but one that has had a huge impact.
4. Block out time in your diary that is for you - Every week is different, and sometimes this means that my husband and daughter get less time with me, so to ensure they do get to see me we block out time each weekend and during School Holidays. I put my phone down and laptop away and I try to be fully present with them (I’m still working on staying in the present moment).
5. Don’t be so hard on yourself - When I first started my small business I’d spend a lot of time feeling really annoyed with myself for not being able to grow my business as fast as others, but I just didn’t have the time to be able to dedicate to it with managing my full time job too. I’ve learnt that I need to stay in my own lane, focus on my wins, celebrate all of those steps forward. It’s okay to go at my own pace, it isn’t a race
6. Ask for help - When I first became a mum I felt so awful when asking for help, especially for help with childcare or when an issue of Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums is about to launch. I always felt so guilty that I couldn’t do things on my own. But we aren’t meant to do it on our own, they say it takes a village to raise a child but it also takes a village to grow a business too!
And finally, give yourself a break. You are doing the very best you can with the resources and time you have.
About the Author
Emma Cottam, is a speaker, writer and founder of Isabella and Us. She is the editor of the Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums, an independent magazine for mums, and the host of the Positive Wellbeing Podcast for Mums. She is also passionate about supporting small businesses on their journey to find their magic and has recently launched one to one sessions for creatives to help them gain clarity, purpose and direction.
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